


It's Only Me

by AuroraShard



Series: FYeah Clint/Nat/Laura Mini Prompt-athon 2020 [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bathing/Washing, Can you tell I always write while hungry?, Fix-It, Injury, Multi, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), The bath is not sexual, brief mention of smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:48:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23602597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraShard/pseuds/AuroraShard
Summary: For the FYeahClintNatLaura tumblr mini promptathon. “Prompt 7 via @thetrophycleaner: clintnatlaura post-endgame canon divergence. They are all alive!”Natasha comes home.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Laura Barton/Natasha Romanov
Series: FYeah Clint/Nat/Laura Mini Prompt-athon 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1689340
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	It's Only Me

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as a sequel to “Smoke on the Horizon”, but can be read as a standalone. :) I had been planning on writing this anyways, but it aligned perfectly with the prompt.
> 
> Title from “It’s Only Me”, by Dessa, which also inspired my fic I Only Live Alone Awake, which is also in this collection. It takes a different approach from the other story, mostly centering on the line from the title. Enjoy!
> 
> Content warnings: Discussions of injury, as well as grief/emotions. See end notes for more information and what to skip.

It isn’t while he smokes that Natasha comes home.

Clint’s kids are singing along to a pop hit on the radio after Cooper’s robotics tournament, and it’s a beautiful day. The birds are out, the flowers along the road are in bloom, and Clint’s blood runs cold as they turn on to their long driveway. He clicks off the radio, and the car falls silent.

“Guys, get down.” He barks. Wordlessly, the kids kneel on the car floor, and Laura shifts to crouch down as much as she can, clearing her way to the driver’s seat. She wordlessly passes items to Lila, who sets them out of the way in the back seat. They’d done drills of this in the past, just in case. He’d hoped to never have to use it. 

“Laura, check the alarms.” He orders, checking the gun on his hip. His eyes never leave the figure sitting on the porch.

“No unauthorized entrants.” She says. He grimaces. 

“Stay here. Laura, be ready.” He parks the car a little farther down the drive than usual. They’d done drills on this, too. The figure doesn’t move from where they rest on the porch, leaning back in one of the chairs there. 

He gets out of the car, clicking off the safety on the gun. He doesn’t draw it, not yet. There are very few people that can disable the alarms. Something is there at the back of his mind, and it stays his hand as he approaches. Something is familiar, and it might be hope. He approaches slowly, the figure staying still as he heads up the stairs. They are turned away from him, swaddled in an oversized hoodie.

“Can I help you?” He asks, and his breath catches as they turn to face him. “Natasha?” He breathes. She smiles up at him, face gaunt and eyes weary.

“I’m sorry that I missed Cooper’s robotics tournament.” She says, voice scratchy. 

It’s only a moment before Clint has the safety on his gun and is pulling her into a tight embrace. She presses back just as firmly. Clint blinks away tears and pulls away, standing to sign the  _ all clear _ to the family. He waits until they are out of the car before he shouts,

“She’s back!” They race towards the porch, and there is a moment of cacophony as they all press forward in the same moment to hug her themselves, to confirm that she is real and she is here.

“Let’s get inside, are you okay?” Laura asks wetly, leading Natasha inside, never taking her hands off of her. She is led to the couch where she sits heavily. The kids are talking over one another and Laura shushes them quietly while Clint gets their things from the van in a daze. He stops for a moment, grounding himself.

_ Five things I see. The car, the lilacs, the Johnson’s horses, the mailbox, the rock that Cooper brought up from the creek. Four things I hear. The robins in the oak tree, the leaves in the wind, the horses nickering, the flies. Three things I smell. The horses, the flowers, the new mulch. _

He blinks a few times, grabbing their things and heading into the house. He sets their bags down by the door and locks it, checking the alarms to be safe. He finds Natasha in the living room, taking a glass of water from Nathaniel. She gives everyone a tight lipped smile as she slowly drinks the whole glass, setting it down on the table. Clint can’t help but notice her hands shaking.

“Are you alright?” He asks, coming to hover near her. She wobbles her hand side to side. 

“Not as bad as that time in Bosnia with the jewelry guy, but not great. It, uh, took a lot to get back. I’m gonna be resting up for a while, I think. But I have the worst craving for the salad with the…” She flaps her hand, “The, the, dressing. You know the one. But I don’t think I can stomach anything too rich. I’m just really hungry. And tired.” She says. Clint laughs. He leans down to give her a kiss, and one each to the kids and Laura, who were clustering around her. 

“Why don’t you take a nap? We can take care of dinner. Kids, come help me with the salad.” Natasha flashes a grateful smile.

“Sorry, kiddos, I’d love to do something with you, but I really just need to rest. I love you guys, though, okay?” She says, drawing each child in turn in for a hug and a kiss. She reaches for Clint and Laura and does the same, and Clint feels like the world around him was finally tilted back into place. Laura shepherds the kids into the kitchen, and Clint knelt next to Natasha for a moment, just holding her close. She sniffles along with him, and he shifts to grab them both tissues. 

“How are you, really?” He asks, taking her hands in his and searching her face. She grimaces, shifting to lean against the arm of the couch. 

“Short answer is, I went through the ringer getting back. We all did. Reality hopping takes a lot out of you…” She mumbles as her eyes drift close. Clint blinks at her, then pulls up his phone, swiping to the Avengers group chat. He types quickly,  _ Nat is alive. Exhausted, will debrief ASAP. Something about “reality hopping”. _ He pauses. It all felt surreal, and he sits and watches Natasha’s steady breathing for a minute. He sends the message, and then grabs some blankets to cover Natasha with. He tucks her in, laying a gentle kiss to her head. 

He walks silently to the kitchen, pausing in the doorway. Laura was guiding the kids to make Natasha’s favorite salad while she set about making chicken soup. They chop the vegetables and crumble cheese, and Cooper mixes the dressing together with singular focus. Laura catches sight of Clint and motions him over, drawing him into an embrace. She buries her head against his chest for a moment, shaking ever so slightly. He leans down, whispering to her.

“Do you want to keep watch on her, or should I? I messaged everyone that she’s back.” Laura nods against him. She mumbles back,

“I can do dinner. Keep an eye on her. I think she’s more hurt than she’s letting on. I hate to send the kids to their room to do their homework, but I may see if they can work in the kitchen to let her rest. I’m sure they’ll understand.” Clint nods in agreement, tilting Laura’s face so he can give her a kiss. She smiles. “Go on, keep watch.” He nods, and turns back to the living room.

He slips back into the room as Laura turns back to the kids, no doubt to tell them their plan and help them finish up the salad. It was still a bit early for dinner yet, and it was obvious how exhausted Natasha was. Clint hates to wake her at all, but he knew she had to eat something soon. 

He settles into the chair across from her, watching her. She looks like she had when they first met; gaunt, weary, full of the bone-deep exhaustion that comes from being on the run for too long. He aches to hold her tight until she was herself again, but he knew he couldn’t, not yet. After dinner he would pull her aside, help her get changed and debrief. The others would need to know what happened, too. He wonders if the kids would want to sleep in their room tonight. 

His phone vibrates in his pocket and he pulls it out, switching it to silent. There were texts pinging on the group chat. He grimaces and clicks it open.  _ Let me catch up. _ He types. He scrolls through the messages. There was disbelief and confusion, asking for photos. And then there was a message from Pepper:  _ He’s back, too. Needs medical care, Helen Cho is incoming but he’s in the hospital. How is Nat?! _ There was a blurry picture of Tony lying in a hospital bed, giving a thumbs up. His side is wrapped in bandages, as was his face. He skims the flurry of messages that follow. Some words stick out, like  _ scarring, burns from the Stone, mobility _ and more, but he just keeps scrolling. Thor has responded,  _ I’ve received word that Heimdall is with Valkyrie. Loki, too. _ Clint keeps scrolling until he gets back to the end. He snaps a quick photo of Natasha and sends it along. He types out,  _ She’s sleeping, phone is on silent. I’m glad everyone is okay. If possible, debrief soon.  _

He leans back to continue to watch as Natasha sleeps, unconsciously measuring her breathing and listening for any hitches that might indicate injuries. Her breathing is even, if a bit rough. He glances up as the kids sneak upstairs to get their homework, and he smiles as Laura comes to join him in the living room. Her shoulders sag and she smiles softly as Natasha sleeps on, and she leans into Clint. He leans back, and they watch their partner until the kids come back downstairs. They crowd onto the kitchen table, setting up their homework as quietly as they can, all angled to watch Clint and Natasha in the living room. Laura joins them, and she whispers to the kids as she helps them with their work. Clint thinks, absently, that he’s glad today is Friday. He’s not sure how he’d explain this to their teachers. 

Between watching Natasha and corresponding with the others, time passes quickly enough. He hears Laura finishing up the soup in the kitchen. He waits until the table is set and the kids are washing up to rouse Natasha with a gentle shake to her shoulder. 

She blinks blearily up at him, frowning.

“It wasn’t just a dream. I’m back.” She pulls him close and he feels tears wet his shirt. He nods, holding her back just as tightly. Laura comes in, and presses in on her other side and Natasha clings for a moment before drawing back.

“Do I smell soup? It smells amazing. It smells like home.” As if on cue, her stomach rumbles and she laughs wetly. “Can you guys help me clean up?” She asks. They nod, and help her up the stairs to the master bathroom. Laura and Clint gather her soft clothes while she cleans up, leaving them outside the door. She cracks the door and grabs them, emerging a few minutes later with them on under the hoodie. Her face is slightly damp where she has washed it, and she smiles.

“I’ll need a full bath later, I’m sure I smell like garbage. And we’ll need to debrief, too.” She says quietly, solemnly. Clint nods, offering her another hug. He doesn’t think any of them will stop soon. Laura joins them for a moment before ducking downstairs to help the kids get dinner served.

“Let’s head downstairs before the kids eat all the salad. I’m sure you’re starving.” She nods, and they head downstairs. Natasha slowly lowers herself into her seat with a grunt.

“Just stiff.” She explains as Lila gives her a concerned look. “So, catch me up. How is school? How was the robotics tournament?” She asks the kids as she starts eating. The kids talk over each other for a moment before taking turns, and Clint watches the way that Natasha eats slowly, taking small bites and sips of water. Pacing herself, as if it’s been a while since she’s eaten. Clint makes a note to ask her about it later, and to pick up more bland foods when they go out next. 

Natasha nods and eats, the kids babbling away. She occasionally asks questions, and Clint and Laura remind them of other things to catch her up on. Laura and Clint exchange glances over her head; they can see her attention wavering. Laura nods at him.

“Alright, guys, let’s let Momma rest. Can you guys take care of the leftovers and dishes and trash while we help Momma get ready for bed? I know we all want to catch up, but we’ll have time to do that later.” She says with a soft smile. The kids all nod, evidently having picked up on her exhaustion. Natasha smiles sadly.

“Thanks, guys. I love you all and I want to listen, but I need to rest. Thank you for understanding.” She says, and the kids smile back.

“It’s okay, Momma. We love you, too.” Nathaniel says, giving her a shoulder bump as he carries the salad to the kitchen. Cooper stops to give her a half hug, holding the soup pot against him with his other hand.

“Just glad to have you back, we missed you.” He says. Lila gives her a hug as she goes by.

“Love you, Momma.” She says. Natasha beams at all of them as they head into the kitchen. Turning to Clint and Laura, she offers her arms up.

“I’m gonna need some help back up the stairs.” She admits. They help her out of the kitchen and up the stairs, and Clint settles her in the bathroom while Laura gets her a new change of clothes. They help her undress slowly, and she grimaces as they tug off the hoodie. She stills them with a hand on their arms before they can continue.

“I don’t really look good right now. There was a lot of… atmosphere or something? As we hopped through the realities. It looks worse than it feels, but it...doesn’t feel good, either. We’ll probably need to talk to Bruce about it.” She admits. Clint looks at her in alarm.

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” He asks, resting a hand on her knee.

“I needed to see you guys. Besides, I don’t think the regional hospital is set up for ‘inter-reality injuries’.” She jokes wryly. Laura smiles sadly.

“Let me get your phone, you can text him.” She says, ducking to look through her discarded gear. 

“I think it’s fried.” Natasha says. “I tried to message you, but I guess “reality hopping” isn’t great for electronics, either.” She huffs, shaking her head. Clint passes her his phone and she fires off a quick text to Bruce. 

"I'm gonna wait to do much until Bruce replies, but I feel like a warm bath won't hurt. Do we still have the baby soap somewhere?" She asks. Laura pauses.

"I'll go check." She ducks out of the room and Clint glances at her. She grimaces.

"Like I said, it looks worse than it is." She turns and starts the water running, getting it to just warmer than lukewarm. Laura came back after a few minutes, right as Clint's phone buzzes with a call. He passes it to Natasha, who swipes it to video as she turns off the water.

"Oh my god, you really are here." Bruce says, eyes wide. She smiles.

"The one and only." She teases. But her face grows somber. "So I have a medical question for you." She passes the phone to Laura, slowly pushing back the sleeve of her shirt, revealing the skin underneath. It was mottled with angry red marks. She grimaces as her partners gasp.

"Oh, Nat." Laura whispers, setting the soap on the counter.

"Are you okay? That looks painful." Bruce askes, brows furrowing, grabbing a clipboard and pen. "What happened?" Natasha grimaces.

“I’ll get you a full after-action report tomorrow. But the Ancient One, a sorcerer like Strange, saved me. We hopped between realities, or outcomes, I think is the better term. It seems to have stemmed from that. I guess human bodies aren’t meant to do a lot of it.” She says wryly, smiling at Bruce. She met Laura’s gaze, and then Clint’s.

“It doesn’t hurt. It feels...numb. Like when you get feeling back after surgery, like a graft. But there’s no real pain, although I suspect it should hurt. She did some kind of magic on me.” She couldn’t meet Clint’s eyes as she continues. 

“I remember falling… When I woke up, she was there. She was doing some kind of spell casting, the way Strange does. With the…'' She pantomimes the sorcerer's spell casting, twisting her hands. “And my body felt tingly. Like when you get up after sitting too long, almost pain but not quite. You know it should hurt but it doesn’t. She told me that my body had done a lot of healing, and that the feeling would fade. So I don’t hurt now, but I want to make sure I take care of these. They don’t seem to be burns. I assume it’s some kind of magic. I don’t have a way to contact Strange, but I figured you might. ” She finishes, nodding to her arms. Bruce nods absently, scribbling notes down. 

“I’ll reach out and have him call you. I assume you don’t want visitors?” He asks, glancing up. She shook her head. “I’ll have him call. Depending on what he says, you may have to come pay me a visit. For now, since it seems to be magic-based and not a physical injury, you’re likely fine going on as normal. But stop if anything hurts or changes, okay? You know the drill.” He says with a smile. She nods.

“Have him call this number, my phone got fried. You’ll be the first one I call, don’t worry. Now, it’s time for me to get a bath and a nap. Thanks, Bruce, I really appreciate your help. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” She says, yawning. He laughs.

“Goodnight, guys, feel better, Nat.” He says, waving. Clint turned the phone, and he and Laura wave before he hangs up. Natasha slumps against the wall. 

“I didn’t want the kids to see and get worried. I’d have done anything to come back.” She whispers. Clint sinks to the floor next to her, and Laura follows suit. Clint draws her close.

“I don’t regret it. Not one moment. Not the cliff, not the way back, none of it. If I never came back, well. I’d have given my life to help so many people, including my family. I don’t regret that at all. I’d do it again if I had to. But damn, would I miss you all.” She sniffles, wiping at her face. Clint and Laura pull her close, kissing her softly. Laura whispers soft words to her for a moment before pulling back.

“I for one am so glad you are back. It was hard without you, we all missed you so much. We respected your choice, but it was tough. I’m so glad you are home with us again now. I’m just not going to let you out of my sight for at least a week, though, you know that, right?” She teases, and Natasha laughs wetly. “Now let’s get your out of those clothes and into the tub, hm?” She says, standing up. Natasha laughs, long and full.

“Oh, does this turn you on?” She teases, giving Laura a ridiculous wink and a pose, showing off her dirty clothes and skin. Laura laughs and Clint chuckles. “If I’d only known.” Laura rolls her eyes, and she and Clint help Natasha shirk the rest of her gear. They toss it into the laundry hamper, drawing more water for the tub while they help her slowly disrobe. She moves stiffly, leaning on the others for support. Finally, they turn off the water and help her lower herself into the tub. 

Natasha sighs contentedly, sinking into the water. She tilts her head back to run it through the water, running her hands through it. The water grows dusky red with foreign soils and old blood, and Natasha grimaces at it. Laura gives her a sympathetic smile, passing her a washcloth.

“Want me to give you a wash?” She asks as Clint grabs the soap.

“We may have to do two washes, one to get the dirt off and the other with soap to actually clean me.” She muses with a chuckle, gesturing to the murky water. Laura nods, settling on a towel next to her. She set to scrubbing at the dirt on her skin, tenderly running the cloth along her arms and shoulders. Natasha sinks into it, her eyes falling closed. Clint sets a comb next to Laura on the floor, and sneaks out with the laundry hamper. Laura pauses once he leaves.

“Even though you’re back, I think he still blames himself. He thinks he failed you, despite me telling him that you are an adult who can make her own choices. It’s not a conversation for tonight, of course, but one I think we will have to have sooner or later.” Natasha nods quietly.

“I figured as much. I hoped he wouldn’t blame himself, but. Survivor’s guilt and all that.” They lapse into silence as Laura washes her, and she shifts as needed for Laura to reach her legs and back. Laura passes her the cloth so she can wash her front while Laura starts to comb her hair, slowly working out the tangles and knots. Natasha rests her head against the wall of the tub, and she can barely make out the tenor of Clint’s voice, somewhere with the kids. Her eyes drift close, and she dozes until Laura has finished her hair. She blinks slowly up at Laura when she stops.

“Let’s drain this and give you a proper scrub. Then we can brush your teeth and bundle you into bed.” Natasha nods sleepily, curling towards Laura as the tub drains. Laura kisses her softly and turns the water on again, running it until the water in the tub is clear. They resume their process, Laura lathering Natasha’s hair and scrubbing her with a clean washcloth. Together they scrub Natasha clean, and Laura grabs a spare cup to help rinse her off, just as they had done with the kids.

“No wonder the kids liked bath time so much. All I need is a rubber duck and some more bubbles.” Natasha teases, words slurring just a bit. Laura laughs, looking up as there is a knock on the door. Clint pokes his head in.

“The kids are getting ready for bed. Are you up for goodnight kisses? I can send them in to you once you’re in bed.” Natasha nods. “Want me to get you a long sleeve shirt?” She nods again, and he ducks out once more. 

Laura bundles Natasha into a towel and helps her dry off while the tub drains, and Clint helps her into her new pajamas.

“Feels so nice to be clean. Everything smells like home.” She whispers. Clint kisses her, drawing her and Laura in for a hug. They pause there for what feels like an eternity to Natasha before pulling apart slowly. Natasha leans against Clint while she brushes her teeth, eyes dipping closed and then popping back open.

“I’ve got you.” Clint whispers, and Laura leaves them to it. Natasha smiles and rinses her mouth out.

“I was so happy to brush my teeth before dinner, they were pretty gross.” She confides. She leans into Clint again, just pressing herself into his warm bulk. He holds her tight, breathing in the smell of the baby shampoo she had used. They don’t pull apart until Laura comes back.

“Alright, hun, the kids are ready to say goodnight. Let’s get you in bed, you look about ready to keel over.” They lead her to the bedroom, situating her in the middle of the bed. They fluff the pillows and tuck her in, and she smiles gratefully up at them. There was a tentative knock on the door, and she beams as the kids come in. Nathaniel rushes over and gives Natasha a hug and a wet kiss, and she smiles. 

“I missed you, darling.” She says. “Sleep well, okay? We can play tomorrow morning if I’m feeling better.” He nods enthusiastically. 

“I love you momma.” She beckons the others over, and Lila joins in on the hug.

“I missed you, sweetheart. You sleep well, too, okay?” Lila nods, sniffling just a bit. “I’m home, it’s okay. It’s a lot, I know, but we will get through this, don’t worry.” Lila buries her head into Natasha’s shoulder, shifting so that Cooper can join. 

“It was weird without you. Don’t do that again.” He teases, blinking back tears of his own. Natasha smiles softly, wiping them away gently with her thumb.

“I’ll do my best, my future astronaut. You will have to show me all your robot videos soon, okay?” He nods.

“Alright, guys, why don’t we let momma rest.” Clint says softly. The kids give Natasha their last hugs and kisses before letting Clint shuffle them off to tuck them in. Laura changes and brushes her teeth, curling up along Natasha’s side when she’s done. Clint follows suit after a few minutes.

“Kids are all in bed.” He whispers as he slides into bed. Natasha blinks at him.

“Keep your cold toes over there, mister.” She slurs, smiling sleepily. Clint laughs, and Laura joins in. 

“I will. Can we cuddle you?” He asks. She nods, flailing a hand until she can rest it over his mouth.

“Shhhh. Bed now.” She mumbles. Laura and Clint smile, exchanging a look over her head. They curl closer to Natasha, holding her tightly. Together they drift off to sleep, dreaming of home, soft blankets, and each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!
> 
> My favorite typo of this was: ”Even though you’re back, I think he still blames himself. He thinks he failed you, despite me telling him that you are an adult who can make her own chilies.”
> 
> Content warnings:  
> Death/grief: There is some talk of Natasha’s passing, and how it affected Laura and Clint, as well as the kids (although their reactions are discussed in less detail). To skip the main discussions, skip from Natasha saying “I don’t regret it…”. Resume at “Oh, does this turn you on?...”. And skip from “Even though you’re back…” and resume at “let’s drain this and…”.
> 
> Injuries: To skip talk of injuries, skip from the paragraph starting with “I don’t really look good right now…” until “have him call this number…”. The paragraph involves Nat calling Bruce, and asking for him to tell Dr. Strange to call her. They briefly discuss her injuries and how she returned to their timeline/present.


End file.
